Posted by: Louise | November 9, 2010

Creative every once in a while

Writing has been my thing since Laura died. Making is what comes most naturally, my first language, but making hurts. I have an idea for a piece I want to make – it is brewing away – but just letting go with my art-making feels a bit scary, still.

I loved the 30 day challenge. I like a good challenge, or I like the focus of a good challenge. So when the 30 day challenge was moving into the creative every day for the month of November challenge, I thought GREAT.

But I am supposed to be writing a thesis – a thesis loaded with emotional connection to Laura. She was with me during most of my MA studies – her and I together, beavering away at the endless assignments. I miss her, wriggling around. I miss her, draining me of all my energy, forcing me to sleep face in my papers at the desk. I miss the weight of her making me wriggle around uncomfortably on my chair.

I have to write this thesis and I am afraid I will procrastinate my time away so, when it came to being creative everyday, I thought I’ll take a word from my research each day and make an image with it/from it. Perfect. My thesis is about learning through creative reflection. It all fits.

So I got my sketchbook and wrote “learning” on the top right hand corner of the first page. And there it is still. Lonely.

Learning is lonely.

But we have started Christmas crafts for the Winter fair in the kids school and I’m busy making little decorations with beads and glue and tissue paper. Last Christmas I bought this butterfly and thought (vaguely) I would customise it sometime. It was all gold and I wanted colour. Colour and sparkle. So I took it out in the middle of my decoration making and set to.

And here it is. We’ll put it on top of our tree.

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Responses

  1. That is a good butterfly. It says “hope.” This is a day when it is hard for me to feel hope, but your butterfly makes it easier somehow.

  2. I like the idea of a Christmas butterfly much more than an angel. Not that we have either. Mike has a collection of the most random things that he hung on the cactus last Christmas. He has a chili pepper bauble, for example, and a garlic one (to keep away vampires perhaps). And a yeti.

    My ex’s grandmother had a nativity scene. Every year she’d populate it with the traditional models, but then add other characters from around the house – a stuffed zebra or a crocheted doll. Plastic toys from cereal boxes. Anything animate pretty much.


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